Memories To Forget [Cullens/Blacks]

[resident2k4]

Carlisle was already pulling up onto the driveway as he gotten the message. He was happy that Jasped decided to come back home. It was hard on him and certainly harder on him to see how it impacted Esme. He parked his car in the driveway and got out and walked up the stairway and came to the door and walked in gracefully. He was looking around, just so he could get a chance to see his adopted son Jasper once again. He would give him space and would not be in such a hurry to embrace him and would not be angry with him either. He was simply happy that Jasper could finally return home to the family.

[Bella Cullen]

Bella was utterly shocked that Alice had been the one to help Jasper escape from Florida. The last time she checked, Alice wanted nothing to do with Jasper ever again and that included going to find him wherever he was. Her sister was never one to go off and do something without telling her what was going on. That little pixie has a lot of explaining to do... she thought to herself, keeping her shield in. And of course Edward would know because he could hear Jasper's thoughts. Sometimes Bella wished she had her husband's power just so she could know what was going on in other people's minds. It was very inconvenient not to know sometimes. Before she could say anything in reply, she saw Carlisle walk in the door.

Quickly, she threw the 'We're going to talk about this later' look to Edward and greeted her father-in-law. "Carlisle!" she said, walking over to him. "You must have gotten Rosalie's text message. Jasper is home, but you just missed him." Everything came out so fast that Bella was glad everyone around was a vampire and could hear her perfectly fine. "He and Rosalie have gone to get his children back from Lexie." Bella hissed on the very name she hated to say. It was like a taboo word in her book. Lexie had been the one to tear their family apart from the minute she arrived. Everyone knew it and agreed she had been the cause of all their troubles.

[Esme Cullen]

Esme ran back ot the house quickly as possible, She had been out in the woods picking wildflowers for the house when her phone went off. She entered the house to hear Bella Say Jasper was home, but Carlisle had Just missed him so Esme had also . She wanted to hug Jasper and actually see him from herself. She was a little mad She was not quick enough to get home after she received the message." He just got home and he cant even stay long enough to be welcomed home By his mother"Esme said before she head the second half of what Bella had to say. "Hey left to get the children?" Esme was shocked She did not know if she would need to help him help or not not. " Should we go after him, Carlisle? "

[Bella Cullen]

Just as Bella was talking with Carlisle, Esme entered the house with a look of shock and surprise written across her face. Bella knew that she was equally happy that Jasper had come home. More than anyone else in their family, Bella understood what it was like to be a mother and love your child more than anything in the world, so she could only imagine what it was like for Esme to watch her son just leave. Even though none of the Cullen family were technically Carlisle or Esme's children, they loved them all the same. Esme was mother to them all and there was no contesting that.

Walking over to Esme, Bella placed her hand lovingly on her arm. "We thought it best if some of us stayed behind in case one or both of the children somehow got away and came back here looking for us," she explained gently. "Jasper agreed to this idea since Eddie and Rosie both have the ability to find their way back here to us." For the first time in nearly half a year, Bella had hope that their family was piecing itself back together.

[Alice Cullen]

Since her return from Florida with Jasper, Alice had been keeping herself busy and away from the family. There were many things weighing on her mind about what had happened down in Florida, but none of which she wished to discuss with the family or wanted her brother Edward to hear in her head. A lot of her time was spent in the Forest or shopping in Seattle. So much was weighing on her mind that she had even taken a cross-country trip to the East Coast to clear her head, avoiding everyone, including Evan. He was one of the people she didn't want to face most. It was the most torturous thing to know that she still loved Jasper, but loved Evan at the same time. She beat herself up over it a million times as she stayed away from the family. Her visions were even off due to her continuous lack of knowing her own true feelings.

As she was coming back from her East Coast trip, she received a text message from Rosalie calling everyone immediately to the mansion. She automatically knew that Jasper had made his return home. Nothing else would have caused Rosalie to text her. Even Rosalie had been avoiding her as of late for her decisions regarding Jasper. But, instead of ignoring the text, she decided to actually go to the mansion to see what was happening. Crossing the state line of Washington, she bolted for Forks and made it back in less than ten minutes. Walking into the mansion, she saw Edward, Bella, Carlisle, and Esme but Jasper and Rosalie were absent. Just then a vision struck her that showed her sister and ex heading toward California. When it was over, she looked around at her family. "So I guess I missed the reunion?" she asked lightly.

[Edward Cullen]

Edward had been quite as his parents arrive home. He let Bella handle things and was there to support his mother. Edward knew how hard it was for her, when one of them disappeard. Now both of the twins were gone and no one knew for how long. Edward finally stood up as he heard his twin coming. Edward knew that she did not want him in her head, so he tried not to listen. He knew that when she wanted to talk, she would come to him and he would listen and be there for her.

"Dont' worry, mom. Rose is with him, they will return soon." Edward said as he move to his mother's side. He watched as his sister came in and he just smiled at her. He was not going to get between her and Bella. "Yeah, you missed the reunion." He said and watched his wife.

[Emmett Cullen]

It's been few weeks since he left Forks to the south with Rosalie's car. He would love to take his jeep but since he was going in the south, there would be lots of sun and doesn't want people to find out who he is and or his family. He just can't put his family in danger at all. Emmett didn't tell anyone on what he was up to and wasn't planning on it either. All he cared about was those kids that are in danger from Lexie. From the beginning, he was certain that she was upto no good. Of course, no one had thought that she would be rude to her own kids and not let them use their ablities. Emmett would be happy if his son had powers but since he doesn't, he loves him the same.

The trip to the south was just useless, he searched every city but not a scent of Lexie or the kids itself. It was hard for him to find her but he knows that his family would be worried about him, more over, his Rosalie. The trip back to Forks wasn't the same as he expected. For the first time, he's giving up on everything as much as he doesn't want to. Defeat isn't what the Cullens' do. He doesn't know what to say to his family once he returns home.

He entered the driveway of the Cullen Mansion, he already he could smell Jasper's scent. A smile formed on his face as he parked Rosalie's car in the garage next to his. Happily, he walked inside the mansion, smelling everyone else in the room. Emmett hadn't forgotten what Jasper did but is willing to forget about it since he knew what was going on with him and why he decided to leave. But what he really was worried about was Rosalie and Alice, forgiving him and accepting him, once again. Emmett smiled at everyone in the room then sighed when he knew that Jasper and Rosalie weren't there. He placed one hand on Alice's shoulder, smiling at her and looked at Edward. "What happened? Where's Rose and Jazz?" He asked curiously. He really missed his Rosalie and wanted to hold her if only he was there few minutes early.

[Alice Cullen]

Alice knew that Edward could hear her every thought, but she knew that he would respect her privacy and not say anything about it unless she wanted to talk about it. She simply nodded her head as she looked over at him when he told her that she had just missed Rosalie and Jasper. In truth, she wasn't ready to face him yet. After bringing him home from Florida, she had made no effort to speak to him because she did not know what to even begin to say to him. For the first time in her life, she finally understood what it meant to be totally emotionally confused. Standing there in the center of the living room, Alice remained silent even as Emmett came into the house.

When he asked where Jasper and Rosalie were, Alice looked at her brother and said, "They went to California." Her answer was simple, but she knew that it was all she was going to be able to manage for the moment. Everything was such a blur in her mind, a vision of all of her choices and where they could lead her. Looking to Edward, she pleaded with him in her mind. "I really do not want to talk about it just yet, she whispered in her head, I need some time to sort things out for myself. I have not even spoken with Bella about any of this. She knew her brother would keep her secrets until she was ready to talk. In the meantime, she moved from one side of the room to the other and stared out the window listlessly.

[Bella Cullen]

The anticipation of seeing Alice was beginning to overwhelm Bella's mind, and she gave a small look to Edward, trying to cease her thoughts so that they would not begin to annoy him. Her head turned sharply towards Alice as she entered the room, and for the first few moments she was unable to speak. There were so many things that she had wanted to say, but when she went to speak she refrained. It seemed like nothing she could say would be appropriate for this moment. Bella narrowed her eyebrows as she walked towards Alice. Bella stopped in front of the window, looking out of the clear glass before she turned slowly to Alice.

Bella took Alice's soft, ice cold hand into hers as she looked down at the ground. Bella knew the feeling all to well of seeing someone for the first time after they had been gone for so long. The situation she had experienced with Edward was certainly difficult, yet the anger she had felt was there, especially the devastating pain. With the return, also came the fear that they were capable of leaving again, that it was all just something that could be taken away. It left an emptiness in you that could only be filled by time, and by the person you love. Unfortunately, Jasper was gone just as quickly as he had returned. " Whatever you need Alice, I am your sister. We're all here," She turned her head for a moment as she looked back at the rest of her family that had joined them before she tightened her hold on Alice's hand.

Bella battled within herself on how to approach Alice. She often wished that she was capable of Edward's power, if only to know how to react to people. She quickly wrapped her arms tightly around Alice, pulling her into an embrace. She was still shocked to have found out that Alice had taken part in helping Jasper escape, but she also knew that she would let Alice tell her in her own time. She bit the inside of her cheek, she wanted to be there for Alice, but she also had to let it be known what her position of Jasper returning was. "He will be returning," She spoke with certainty, she knew how awful Jasper had felt, and how it must have torn him to leave before he had a chance to see Alice again. "We are his family, Alice. I am his sister, just as much as I am yours," Bella spoke quietly as she looked at Alice, wishing that they could be alone but was fully aware that this was exactly where they needed to be. The entire situation of Jasper returning probably would have been much easier had he been able to stay, and had a few moments alone with Alice. The entire situation seemed unfair, but at the same time she thought that maybe being at home with her family and being able to accept that Jasper was back for good, would give Alice a chance to handle her emotions before she saw Jasper. Even though there was the possibility of all sense being thrown out the window for their first meeting with Jasper returning, begging to be a Cullen again.

[Alice Cullen]

Alice stood by the bay window, staring out into the forest and beyond to the ocean. In all her years of being immortal, she had never felt more alone than she did now. She had no idea what she wanted to do because of Jasper's return. In her heart, she was torn with emotions. One side of her was in love with Evan and had been since her split from Jasper. Evan had been her rock and solid ground when everything else had been pulled out from under her. Her love for him had not changed in the least bit. But, at the same time, she still found herself loving Jasper for whatever reasons her heart had. It was illogical and stupid of her, but she was finding it difficult to ignore that fact.

Feeling Bella's hand on her own, she turned to her sister. Having Bella there somehow made things a little better, but she only wished that they could talk in private. It had been weeks since she and Bella had talked, so there was so much she wanted to tell her but could not in front of the entire family. She needed the sister that would keep her secrets and understand where she was coming from. Rosalie had austrasized her for divorcing Jasper and they had not spoken since he left for Florida. But Bella had been the one to break the news of Jasper's infidelity to Alice, had held her while she wanted to beat Jasper down, and listened as she poured her heart out.

As Bella pulled her into an embrace and explained that they were still Jasper's family too, Alice could feel herself struggling. She wanted to tell Bella that she was hurting, that things were not alright, and that her heart still bled at the mention of Jasper's name. She wanted to confess that she felt guilt the entire time she was down in Florida because her heart started to reawaken to the feelings she had shoved away and how she felt like she was betraying Evan. But none of that came out. When Bella pulled away and looked into her eyes, she could feel herself crumbling with confusion. Alice hated herself for feeling like this. Pulling Bella close again, she whispered in her ear so low that no one but Bella could have possibly heard. "I am just not ready to face him again." Letting go of her sister, Alice looked around to those in her family and excused herself before walking out of the house and into the forest. She needed to clear her head.

[Edward Cullen]

Edward watched as Emmett entered the house and he was not sure how Emmett was going to react to Rose being gone. When Alice told Emmett, Edward moved closer to his brother in case he needed to react. "They have gone to find Lexie and bring the kids back." Edward said to him. Edward could hear the thoughts in Emmett's mind about where he had been and understood. With Jasper gone, most of the family had be looking for Lexie in their own ways. "I am sure that they will be back soon, Emm." Edward said trying to comfort his bear of a brother.

[Bella Cullen]

Bella stood there for a moment as she watched Alice’s departure. She looked back out the window, trying to figure the best possible way to handle the situation. She looked back down as she narrowed her eyebrows, thinking that it was probably best if she gave Alice a bit of alone time. She thought for a moment about how often Alice had been there for her, through all of her tough times. She had been the sister that she never had in her human life, and the Cullen that she most related to outside of Edward. Bella brought her hands together before she folded them, thinking for another moment. Now that Bella thought about it, Alice had never actually given her too many moments to be alone, whenever she could tell Bella needed her. In fact, she seemed to find great pleasure in kidnapping her. Bella turned her head sharply towards the door, before her eyes grazed back over at Edward and the rest of her family, “Excuse me for a moment,” Bella took a few slow steps before she took off into a full speed run as she exited the house. She tried not to do that too often around Esme’s things, she was always so afraid that she might accidentally break something of importance, especially when her mind was pre-occupied as it was now.

Bella pushed her feet harder against the ground as she followed Alice’s scent into the forest. The urge to comfort and protect Alice was slowly being overpowered by this unexpected anger that she could not explain. Alice was stronger than this, she was always the one that looked towards the future, literally and metaphorically. Whenever Edward was unavailable, Alice was the one person who could calm all of Bella’s fears, without using a gift such as Jasper. As Bella reached the edge of the forest she thought for a moment of Alice and her situation with Jasper and Evan. She stood still, coming to a halt as she thought to herself. She could only assume that Alice felt like she was in a tough situation, as though just because Jasper was back, that she believed her family would expect her to drop Evan and pick up things back where they started with Jasper. Bella out of everyone understood just how difficult that could be. Where Jacob was now in his life could not make Bella happier, but during those moments when she felt torn between him and Edward, it was plain to anyone that she could have been content with either one of them, happy even. But it was Edward that she was bound to, that she had a physical and mental need and desire to fulfill a lifetime with him. Bella sighed, a way to clear her head as she looked back up at the trees, taking in Alice’s scent before she turned to the left to finally find her. She hoped that she would be able to give Alice some sort of comfort, she would not however tell Alice who to pick, she wanted her to make that decision for herself. Bella had this overwhelming feeling that Alice and Jasper would be together again, how could they not be? They were perfect for each other in every single way aside from what had happened over the last six months. Alice needed to discover for herself the love that she had for Jasper, and to not be afraid of it, to let it overcome her and see that Jasper did not intend to hurt her anymore. Bella was positive that it was more or less about trust than anything, she knew that Alice still loved him, no matter what she felt for Evan.

Bella became completely still as she found Alice, not saying anything for a moment. She squared her shoulders as a few silent moments passed between them, and suddenly she was unable to stop the low growl that hissed through her teeth, “ Mary Alice Brandon Cullen,” She said it in a low whisper, almost too angry to yell. She tried to contain herself, knowing that Alice was suffering, however Alice had not let Bella suffer in agony, so she was not about to let her do the same. “You are..stronger than this,” She took a few steps closer to her, her eyebrow slightly raised as she approached her. Bella lowered her hands to her side as she slightly shook her head, “ You more than anyone should know that,” Bella stopped for a moment, raising her arms against her waist as she folded them together. “ I more than anyone else understand what you are going through. As your sister, I am here for you. But you cannot let this turn you into someone that you’re not. You do not run away from things,” Bella looked down at the ground for a moment before she turned her gaze back at Alice, “No one expects you to know what to do right away. But you have to let us in. The longer you wait to talk about this, the less time that you have to set things straight in your mind before Jasper returns,” Bella squared her shoulders again as she looked over at Alice, her eyes softened a little as she wanted nothing more than to hold Alice, to comfort her. But at the same time, Bella would feel more comfortable if Alice was angry at her, than if she was sulking in the forest about Jasper.

[Alice Cullen]

Alice took off into the forest at full-speed, not stopping for anything. Her mind was a blur of visions and memories. The memories were of happier times with Jasper, even dating all the way back to the very first time we met. "You've kept me waiting a long time," she had said, hopping off the barstool in that diner. And then he ducked his head and replied, "I'm sorry ma'am." She had held her hand out to him and he had taken it, becoming inseparable from that moment. Alice winced at that memory, her heart hurting in her chest as she continued to run until she found a quiet place to stop. Never had she expected all those years ago to not be with Jasper now, to have him betray her the way he did. It was not easy for her to even imagine how things could have been had he never mistrusted her in the first place, causing her to go away to England. That was the downfall in all of the mess that was now created. Maybe if I had never gone away, Jasper would have never... her thoughts painfully spelled out the truth for her. She had played some part in Jasper's betrayal, even if it was a small part.

And then her mind drifted to Evan; her fiance and one of her best friends in the world. Through the entire Jasper situation, he had been there for her and helped to heal her heart when it had been broken. He had done nothing wrong to deserve such a wounded woman for a fiancee, yet he loved her and wanted to marry her. How could she hurt him? The pain that dissolved into her heart was that of uncertainty, confusion, and shame. In her heart, she had betrayed Evan in still loving Jasper. But, at the exact same time, she still loved Evan and did not want to hurt him the way she had been hurt by Jasper's unfaithfulness. Her heart was torn in both directions as she wanted to set things right with her ex-husband, but part of her wanted to just be with Evan and move on with her life. No matter what she decided, it would still hurt someone in the end.

A small sigh escaped her lips as she became aware of Bella's presence, knowing exactly why her sister had come after her. Hearing her full name, Alice began to wring her little hands in front of her. Listening to her sister, she knew that Bella was right. She had never run away from things, but she had never before loved two men nor had she endured Jasper betraying her. A century of marriage to him had given her strength and endurance because of her love for him. Everything she had done in that century had been because of the courage her love for Jasper had given her. And that was shattered upon her return from England. "Bella..." she began softly, turning to her sister with insecurity in her eyes. "I have never felt this way before in my entire life." Alice glanced at the ground for a moment, gathering her thoughts together. This was like a confession for her. Everything just started coming out at once. "I cannot hurt Jasper anymore. He has suffered enough and it kills me to see him that way. When I saw him in Florida, he was so...so broken that it shattered my heart." Shifting her weight from one tiny foot to the other, she looked her sister in the eyes. "I still love him. For some reason I cannot explain logically, I still love Jasper. But, I also love Evan too. He has done me no wrong and does not deserve to be treated awfully, which is exactly what I'm doing by loving Jasper too." For the first time in a century, Alice wished she could cry. Because crying would be easier than what she was feeling right at that moment.

[Bella Cullen]

Bella softened her shoulders as she listened to Alice speak. She turned her head back towards the ground as she took in everything that Alice was saying. She knew all of those feelings all to well, to feel ashamed for trying to move on. When Edward had left, Jacob entered her life and changed it in a way that she actually believed that she could move on, that she could exist without Edward. It would be a lifeless existence, but it was more than she could have ever imagined after he left. With that new hope, also came complete and utter heart break, as though you were betraying not only yourself but the person you were attempting to move forward with because they never fully got all of your heart and soul, not when someone who had done something so atrocious that no one else saw them worthy of any pain that you may feel over them. “Alice, what you’re feeling is not wrong. You have done nothing wrong, it is important that you know that,” Bella adjusted the way she was standing as she looked back towards Alice. She knew that guilty feeling, how you wanted to badly to move on in your life, to try to attain happiness without the person who hurt you the most, while knowing that you felt entirely worse for turning your back on them.

Bella blinked a few times before she moved closer to Alice. “ This is a difficult decision for you, I know. I have been there.” Bella softened her eyes as she looked up into the pools of insecurity that were lingering towards her. “ It took me a long time to realize that I should not be ashamed for trying to move on from Edward, for finding comfort in another man. One who supports you, and is probably one of the most amazing friends you will ever have,” Bella looked up at Alice, knowing that she was touching on definitions that could be both Evan and Jacob, “But that does mean that I wasn’t confused, or holding myself back from what my true happiness was,” Bella took a few steps to sit on a tree stump before she stared out for a moment, collecting her thoughts. “There are people that come into your life, Alice.. For a purpose.” She smiled as she thought about Jacob, and how he had helped her through everything she had gone through, “But then there are people, that come into your life and give you purpose,” Bella felt as though if she were able, her eyes would tear up. Edward had done just that, and when he left she felt as though she had no more reason, as though she was just a walking lifeless body, and she knew that that was how Alice must feel and must be experiencing. She held her hands together as she laid her elbows against her knees. Bella wished more than anything that Alice would never have to go through this pain, though she also knew that it was an important step in her moving; whether that was with Jasper or with Evan. Bella looked up with a small smile, “ You’re cheating yourself by not following your heart, whatever you decide. Jasper has wronged you, yes. But what great love doesn’t have some form of tragedy? Evan is an amazing, amazing man. But who has served their purpose, and who has given you purpose?” Bella stood as she walked over to Alice and wrapped her arms around her tightly.

Bella closed her eyes as she held Alice tightly against her, wishing she could guarantee when things would get easier. Bella wanted so badly to tell her, her opinion on who she should be with, but she refrained, not wanting to push Alice into anything that she wasn’t ready for. “ Do not cheat your heart Alice of something great,” Bella had realized many years ago how lucky she was at how everything had worked out for her and her family. She always knew Jacob was meant to be in her life, she just didn’t understand how, or what that love meant. She took a few steps back, “No one is rushing you. Jasper is here to stay, reguardless of if you return to him or not. And if Evan loves you like you say, he will understand while you take time,” Bella knew that it was unfair to play with Evan’s emotions that way, the way that she had meddled with Jacobs, even though she had constantly insisted to him that she loved Edward. But she also felt that he deserved a great love to, not just someone whose heart belonged to someone else. Just the way she knew Jacob would move on, when her heart had always belonged to Edward. Bella folded her arms again as she stood away from Alice, looking over her with a pained expression. To have loved and lost Jasper was one thing, but to have to see Alice with Evan, and know that with every far off glance she held, she was thinking of Jasper, crushed Bella.

[Alice Cullen]

Alice stood pitifully in front of her sister, listening to her talk and knew that Bella above all people knew how she felt. Becuase, once upon a time, Bella had loved two men as well. Standing there, Alice recalled telling Bella in that moment that she had no idea what it was like to choose between two good things. She remembered her exact words. "I’m sorry. I can’t really empathize. My first memory is of seeing Jasper’s face in my future; I always knew that he was where my life was headed. But I can sympathize. I’m so sorry you have to choose between two good things." Those words rang true in her head now more than ever. For the first time, she finally understood the pain Bella had gone through in choosing between Edward and Jacob. And it was not a pain she ever wanted to feel. "But I will hurt either Jasper or Evan, which is wrong because neither of them should have to suffer for my decision," she quietly argued, but quickly became quiet again as Bella continued.

Hearing Bella's words brought a strange sense of knowledge to Alice's mind as she thought about Jasper and then Evan separately. She realized that her situation ironically paralleled Bella's, at least in the sense that Evan had stepped in when her world had fallen apart just as Jacob had done when Edward left Bella. A lump formed in the back of Alice's throat as Bella explained about people being in your life for a purpose and those who give purpose. Again her mind easily reverted to the past and a time when things were much simpler. She thought of the moment on the plane to Italy to save Edward, how she promised to come home to Jasper. The last words of her phone conversation with him were "I love you." Alice's chest felt like it weighed three-tons with the weight of her heavy heart sitting there. The Jasper box rattled in the corner of her heart, begging to be opened. But, she kept it shut and painfully swallowed the pill of agony.

As Bella stood and embraced her, Alice buried her face into her sister's shoulder and cried non-existent tears. For the first time since the entire Jasper ordeal began, Alice broke down. She knew that regardless of what Jasper had done to her, the pain she had suffered because of it, and the ensuing guilt she now felt for betraying Evan in her heart, she still loved Jasper. Her heart had belonged to him for a century. It had always been his since the moment she first saw him in her vision. He was her very first memory of any life and she wanted him to be the last. "Bella...my heart does not deserve happiness," she whispered as Bella stepped away from her. "After all that has happened and what I am doing now...I should be alone. Evan deserves someone who can love him with all of her heart and not just a half of it. And Jasper, after all we have been through...he deserves happiness too with someone who will love him as much as I have, if not more." Alice backed away from Bella and folded her hands in front of her.