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Post by Bella Cullen on Apr 12, 2009 23:20:50 GMT -5
Bella looked her sister in her eyes, "It's something I've never told anyone before, not even Edward." She looked down at her hands momentarily to gather her thoughts. This was something she had lived with for the last thirty years. A thought in the back of her mind of 'what if' and 'how different things could have turned out'. "Well, before I became pregnant with Renesmee, I had never really wanted to be a mother myself," she admitted. "And I'd always assumed that since I was with Edward, that having a child wouldn't have even been possible. But, the minute I knew I was pregnant, there was that split second in my mind of possibly choosing to end my pregnancy. That thought was gone in a second, in fact...it was the moment I felt her kick that I knew I wanted her. Does that make me a horrible person...that I would even think about ending my child's life?" Bella looked into Alice's eyes again, searching for an answer.
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Post by marnie on Apr 14, 2009 5:16:25 GMT -5
Alice took Bellas hands and looked at her. "No Bells that does not make you a horrible person. Because the first moment Nessie born and when you saw her you loved her, and you have been a wonderful mother ever since. Bella if I could pick my mother I would have picked you because you are just that wonderful." Alice giggled to Bella, trying to make her feel better. But it was true, Bella was a wonder mother and friend. "You are wonderful at everything you do. I am so glad you moved to Forks and that Edward fell for you. Because if he didn't I would have had to marry you myself." She joked with her sister.
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Post by Bella Cullen on Apr 14, 2009 9:03:50 GMT -5
Hearing her sister's words, Bella felt her heart grow at least five times over. Knowing that Alice had no memory of her human life, Bella felt honored that she would pick her as a mother could she pick anyone in the world. If she could still cry, she knew she would have because Alice was so very sweet. Hearing her sister's comment on having to marry her if Edward didn't, she laughed. "I'm happy and fortunate to have you a sister Alice. You don't know how many times I am glad I moved to Forks," she said. "Edward, Nessie, you, and the rest of the family...you all are my life." There was no where else in the world Bella would rather be than right there with her family.
"I can honestly say, and Edward will testify to this, that while we were away in London, I missed you and Rose every day. At least once a day, I would say something about you because I missed you both," she continued. "When I was human, I always felt a tiny twinge of regret that I was an only child. I never knew what it was like to have sisters until I met you and Rose." Bella had always felt alone as an only child, with only her mother as her best friend. That all changed when she moved to Forks and met Edward. In fact, Edward had changed everything for her. Life as she knew it ended the moment she met him that fateful day in Forks High so many years before.
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Post by marnie on Apr 14, 2009 19:00:52 GMT -5
Alice loved Bella more than she could put into words. "Believe me, when you all were away, I missed you so much. And everyday when I was in London I would walk the streets and wonder to myself if you and Edward had walked the same street. It was so hard being away." Alice sighed as she looked forward in a haze. "Maybe going away was the wrong choice. Maybe I should have stayed here. Then Nessie would have never been sad, and Jasper never would have done what he did." Alice looked at her sister. "Did he ever talk about me? I mean he never came after me." Alice had wondered this all along, why did Jasper not go after her?
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Post by Bella Cullen on Apr 14, 2009 22:55:04 GMT -5
Bella shook her head adamantly, "Alice, you did what was right by you. Before anyone knew that Crystal was a traitor, you did and Jasper was stupid to not believe you. You had a right to leave like you did." She never wanted her sister to feel guilty for something she had every right to do. Scrunching her eyebrows together, she took Alice's hands and squeezed them tightly.
"After you left, none of us really talked to Jasper," she admitted. "We were all so angry at him for letting you go and then not going after you like he should have. Edward almost beat him to the ground, but I wouldn't let him because it wouldn't have solved anything. There were tons of times when I wanted to tell him to suck it up and go after you, but he really avoided me." Those few months around the Cullen household had been some of the most intense and awkward for everyone without Alice around. Most everyone avoided Jasper if they could or if they spoke to him, it was in short sentences to ask about something. It wasn't like he was social either. "Jasper remained mostly a recluse in his room or out in the forest; until Lexie...obviously..." she trailed off. In the back of her mind, she was thinking that if looks could kill...her death glare would have blown Jasper up by then as many times as she had given it to him over the course of Alice's absence and when she found out about Lexie's pregnancy.
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Post by marnie on Apr 15, 2009 12:00:13 GMT -5
Alice listened to everything that Bella said to her. "Please to be upset anymore. I am home and I don't want you to worry about Jasper anymore." Alice said smiling at Bella. She then thought about Jasper and thought she should tell Bella what it was she was thinking about. "Jasper has changed so much from when I first met him. He used to be a gentleman and kind, he never once thought of himself. Now it seems all he does is think of himself and what is best for him." Alice sighed as she said this. "He is a different person now, Bells. I wish, just a bit that he would show me a piece of the old Jasper. Maybe then I would be able to forgive him." Alice gave Bella a small crooked smile.
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Post by Bella Cullen on Apr 15, 2009 14:37:58 GMT -5
Listening to Alice describe how Jasper was not himself, Bella couldn't agree more with her. Jasper was acting like the world revolved around him, when in reality it didn't. "He's changed and everyone has noticed it. Even Edward says he doesn't recognize his own brother anymore," she agreed. "And Alice, you know me...I'm going to stay upset at him because you're my sister and what he's done to you, well let's say that he deserves a lot more than what he's getting in my book because my death glares and sharp conversations with him obviously aren't doing anything." Bella averted her gaze for a few moments to the window. In the few times she had talked to Jasper since she found out the truth had been harsh reminders of how he needed to be a man about the siuation he had created. All of which he curtly ignored or threw it back in her face that he didn't have to deal with it.
"Alice...if I could make this all go away, I would in a heartbeat," she whispered, looking back to her sister. "My cousins would have never come to live here and I would have killed Crystal the moment I suspected something, which was right around the time you did." Bella looked down at the floor between them. More than anything, she wished she could make all of this go away.
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Post by marnie on Apr 17, 2009 8:13:13 GMT -5
Alice took Bellas hand and smiled. "It's not your fault Bells." She said in an understanding tone. "Everything happens for a reason. And maybe at the end of the tunnel there will be some light and we will be able to find some good out of all of this." She said trying to make her sister smile. Alice hated seeing Bella so worked up and mad, Alice just wanted her to be happy. "And let Jasper be, I will talk to him and work things out." Alice said to Bella. She knew that she was the one who would have to deal with Jasper in the end, and that was something she was ready to do.
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Post by Bella Cullen on Apr 17, 2009 13:01:16 GMT -5
"I know that everything happens for a reason...believe me I do," she replied, sighing deeply. If she didn't believe that, then she would have never persued a relationship with Edward the way she did in the beginning. "Alice, I promise you that no matter what happens, I'll always take your side. You're my sister and I love you," Bella said, drawing Alice into a gentle hug. Even thirty years had done little to change their relationship as best friends and sisters. Alice was still the same perky, wonderful sister Bella gained in marrying Edward and joining the Cullen family.
"Now, tell me more about this Evan guy," she said, changing th subject back to something she knew Alice would enjoy talking about. "You and him seem pretty close." She raised her eyebrow suspiciously and laughed.
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Post by marnie on Apr 18, 2009 12:16:16 GMT -5
Alice laughed with Bella when she brought up Evan. "Oh Bells isn't he just amazing?" Alice would have been blushing by now if she could. "Well we met in London and he was a lot like Edward, you know thinking what he was doing made him a monster and feeding off of humans, well that part is unlike Edward. But I taught him about our way of life and how he can be. Well he loved it and we just became close after that." Alice giggled at the thought of Evan. "Oh Bells he is such a gentleman. And the things he says to me, they sound like something right how of a Jane Austin book. He is really the most wonderful thing to come along in a few years." Alice smiled at Bella.
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Post by Bella Cullen on Apr 18, 2009 18:27:56 GMT -5
Hearing Alice talk about Evan, she knew that he made her sister very happy and that was an automatic bonus in her book. Her sister was just about one of the sweetest people she knew and deserved the joy that Evan brought her. Bella smiled at Alice warmly. "It sounds like someone might be a little attached," she giggled, raising her eyebrows again. If Alice were really in love with Evan, Bella decided that she would be okay with that because he made her happy and wanted nothing but her happiness. Hearing Alice mention Jane Austen made her laugh even harder. "You know...right after I met Edward, I couldn't read several of Austen's novels because all the male heroes reminded me of him. It was the most frustrating thing in the world."
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Post by marnie on Apr 19, 2009 10:06:42 GMT -5
Alice giggled with Bella. "And I love Jane Austin!" She said laughing harder than before. Alice really did enjoy Evans company. "You should get to know him Bells. I think you would like him as much as I do." Alice said to Bella as she took her hands. "I'm so glad he came back with me, I would be so lost if I came back to all of this alone." Alice looked down at the floor and bit her lower lip.
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Post by Bella Cullen on Apr 19, 2009 20:41:43 GMT -5
Bella nodded, "I will get to know him if you trust him Alice. He seems to make you happy and if you are happy, then that's enough for me." She smiled at her dear sister, the little pixie who made her life a living hell while she was human with the endless amounts of shopping and make-overs. However, Bella loved her regardless of all that. Alice was the single sweetest person and the only best friend Bella ever had, aside from Edward. "Alice, have you fallen in love with him?" she tentatively asked, careful of her sister's precarious feelings.
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Post by marnie on Apr 21, 2009 6:35:07 GMT -5
Alice looked down at the floor when Bella asked her if she had "fallen" for Evan. "Maybe...just a tiny bit." Alice said, she would have blushed if she could have. She then looked back up at Bella. "Bella, it's hard to explain. I mean he is so much like Jasper was when I first met him. He makes me feel like a better person every time I am around him. He gets me, and thats hard to find in a person. Someone who just 'gets' you. You know what I mean?" Alice said everything so fast that she hoped Bella understood because Alice was still trying to work it all out in her head herself.
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Post by Bella Cullen on Apr 21, 2009 11:16:05 GMT -5
Bella nodded and smiled, "Oh I know what you mean. Edward is about the only person who gets me." The thought of her husband made her smile. They had fought so hard to be where they were now, including her several near-death experiences as a human. But, those had only made her stronger as a vampire. "Edward gets all the little things about me that nobody really ever sees. That's part of loving someone so much. Before I met Edward, I thought I was nothing special and then...he happened. Everything good I have, I have because of Edward. My daughter, this family, and this life."
Taking her sister's hands again, she looked into Alice's eyes and smiled. "I can see the way your eyes shine when you talk about Evan and the way you smile..." she placed one of her hands on her sister's cheek. "...it's exactly the way a girl in love smiles."
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