Why do i feel like this {Carlisle/family}

[Esme Cullen]

Esme was feeling overwhelmed by all this issues Crystal was bringing to her home, the one place she once felt like she could be herself. Now with Crystal around and the rift she was causing Esme was finding it difficult to be herself, She did not want to show her weakness to anyone. When she felt like she need time alone by herself she would go hunting, but even that was not helping anymore.

Esme was the rock that held the family together but now she thought she was falling apart at the seams herself but has hid if from her family. She put on a smile and laugh he was all front.

Esme walked out of he bedroom and when down to the living room were she sat on the piano bench and ran her fingers across the keys. She began to play, Esme could ever play good as Edward but the house was to just to quit at the moment she was home alone.

[resident2k4]

Carlisle decided to come early as not much was going at the hospital, other than working on his patient charts. He drove home at great speed and pulled into the driveway, wanting nothing more than seeing his precisious wife Esme. After so many decades, Carlisle, couldn't help but smile to himself, as seeing his wife everyday never got old, nor even boring.

He let himself into the house and heard the sweet melody coming from the piano, as he gently hung his coat and walked to see Esme, as he walked up from behind her and sat on the chair, seeing something was bothering her, he gently wrapped his arms around her waist and let her continue to play. He gently leaned in and kissed her on the side of her cheek and held her tightly.

[Esme Cullen]

"Hello Darling." Esme said with a soft smile. "Now how was it at the hospital today?" Sh e asked hiding he inner turmoil from her husband. she continued to play for for a but a minute before she stopped and invited her husband to take a seat on the piano bench beside her.

"Is there anything you like me to play for you darling?" Esme asked looking him in the eyes trying to hide her true feelings from him. She hated seeing Jasper and Alice fight and had never thought someone like Crystal would tear their family apart. She did not want to say it but deep down inside she hater Crystal more then she loved her. She just wished Crystal was out of their lives and they did nt have it worry about Will and what he could so to the family.

[resident2k4]

Carlisle grimaced some, feeling something was bothering her, but wasn't sure if he should press her to confess what was on her mind with everything that had been going on. Carlisle decided to instead lean and hold her against him, as she would still be able to play the piano if she wanted to.

"Love you know I love whatever you play, your music is always so beautiful to me and brings light into this house." He continued to hold her, sighing some more, knowing something would have to be done soon, as the family seemed to be falling apart. "Esme, love, you doing ok? Is there anything you wanted to talk to me about?" He smiled some as her music always help soothe his mind whenever things got to be overwhelming.

[Esme Cullen]

Esme began to play The Meadow a song she loved to hear and she loved it every time Edward played it also. Carlisle touch made her feel a little better then she had all day.

Then he asked he if she was doing ok. She did not know how ot respond to her husband, this was the first time in her immortal she felt like it would be better if she lied to him. Everyone in the house were going through so much and she was there to comfort them all even Crystal though, he felt like she should just leave and never comeback, but at the same time she was family and you can;t leave family stranded in a time of need.

"I ma doing ok, as well as anyone in our situation could be" she respond to her husband and he fingers danced across the keys. "I..I have been feeling a bit less loving lately, All this stuff going on within the family, I have been having a difficult time trying to stay optimistic." Esme stop playing and turned to face her husband she felt for the first time that her family was made up of vampires she did not really know.

[resident2k4]

Carlisle sighed and grimaced, at how Esme was feeling. It was difficult to see his wife, his rock, crumbling with everything that was going on. He still blamed himself for ever turning Will. He held his wife close to him and gently kissed her on her forehead. He kept her close, wishing he could make this all go away, but knew that would not happen, as something amiss was looming very closely.

Although he was concerned about Will, Carlisle was more concerned about his family being torn apart every since Crystal had returned. He knew he and Esme had to find a way to restore order. "Esme, love, it's ok, we are going through a difficult time, but you aren't alone. I won't allow you to face this on your own, we are going to get through this, like you said yourself, we have been through trials time and time out and overcomed each and every one of them, so we shall overcome this as well."

[Esme Cullen]

Esme found her husbands words comforting, she need to hear it from someone besides herself that everything was going to be ok.

"But Alice and Jasper are fighting I thought I would never see that happen.Jasper is taking Crystal's side and a don't see how he could do that to Alice she did not do anything wrong. This should be a happy time for us seeing that Nessie and Jacob are going to be getting married in a few months, but though I am happy for them and want to show everyone I am happy I have be feeling more sad then happy. I feel like we are losing are whole family, If feels like the time I lost my baby." Esme said sadly and wrapped her arms around Carlisle waist. H she wished she could cry and let the pain by shedding her tears but she couldn't he could have to take it a day at a time.

"I am so sorry love for taking like this, with Ness and Bella away in New York I fear loosing everyone in our family, I know it said it will be ok and I believe that but as the days go on my my thoughts on the matter are beginning to change."

[Emmett Cullen]

With Bella and Nessie gone, Alice and Jasper fighting, Alice leaving the family, Crystal being back in the family, Will out there on the loose, and Jacob's and Nessie's wedding that was only few months away. Emmett was, once again, running in through the forest, just hoping to find Will. He'd been away from the house and his family for almost a day and he really missed his wife and his family. He couldn't see his family being apart or losing anyone in his family. He loves them so much that he's willing to do anything and protect them from anything.

He decided to go back to the mansion and see if his mom is okay. Evidently, the news of Alice leaving wasn't too exhilarating for them or for Esme. He knew how she was feeling at the moment and knew that he should be with her and make sure that she isn’t poignant or alone. Couple minutes later, he entered through the kitchen door and went into the living room where he smelled both Carlisle and Esme talking. Emmett heard what Esme said about her time when she lost her baby. He still remembers the story well when Esme told him one time when they were having "Mother-Son" time. Seeing his mom sad, he didn't like it much. He went over and hugged her.

"Everything is going to be okay, mom." He said with faith in his voice. Emmett really hoped that things will be better before Bella and Nessie comes back from their trip. He looked at his dad, hoping that he say something confident that will change Esme's mood for little while.

[resident2k4]

Carlisle smiled weakly at Emmett, as he appreciated it very much in that Emmett was doing all he could to bring comfort to his mother. He continued to hug Esme, remembering and seeing what Esme had gone through when she had lost her child, it was during the time he spent with her while at the hospital as he fell more and more in love with her. He grimaced in pain, feeling Esme's pain, as the family was being ripped apart.

Carlisle grew angry some, he would not let this be the end of the Cullens, not if he had anything to say about it and having Emmett's support was of great importance to him, as he loved how positive Emmett could always be in the worst of situations and was stead fast in his loyalty to his family. "We aren't going to let that happen, this family is going to over come this, I won't let this be our downfall, we have been through tough times, all of us and still we always came out ahead"

"As long as there is even so much as an ounce of life in me, I won't ever stop fighting, not when my family is at stake, I won't take this lying down, we need to find Alice, to see if we can bridge the gap between her and Jasper, it won't be easy, but we have to weather the storm, there will be a time to mourn our tough times and reflect on our victories, but we can face and endure what is at hand right now my love." He hugged his wife closely to him, kissing her forehead some, trying to comfort her as much as he could, and kept her close to Emmett as well to give her the reassurance that nobody was alone in this ordeal.

[Esme Cullen]

"Thank you Emmett, your words along with your father's help chase away the pain away." Esme in a motherly tone. Carlisle's words were giving her strength, and as he held he lose she felt comforted. She just wish when he was gone and she was a home with Crystal she could feel like she did not have to worry.

"Carlisle I know, All that you say is true and I will fight and continue to fight forever by you side. I am trying to Keep our family together but i feel like I am a failure, I hate feeling like this. I felt like a failure that night I ended up in the morgue ans you turned me, that was the last time I felt like that, it been over a hundred years since I felt that pain." placed he arms on Carlisle shoulder and held him tightly for a moment trying to rid herself of those thoughts
.
" I am glad I know I have you to always depend on Carlisle and Emmett" Esme let go of Carlisle and embraced Emmett. " I love you my son"

[Emmett Cullen]

Glad enough that no one was home other than Esme, Carlisle, and himself. Emmett was missing his pixie sister that had left the family for few weeks or even months. All he wanted to do was to find her and bring her home but he couldn't as much as he wanted to. He couldn't see Esme sad especially when she's faking a smile around everyone. Emmett sighed and looked at his dad as he talked about finding Alice. "She doesn't want anyone of us to find her. I really want to find her but the problem is she could be anywhere by now. Maybe in across the Continent or somewhere, who knows where." He said to his parents.

But if he didn't find Alice soon and kill Will, his family is going to break and go into the darkness like other time when Crystal chose Will as her mate. If Will was there in front of him that moment, he would have finished him off. Emmett was lost in his own thoughts just thinking on why Jasper sided with Crystal and let his mate, Alice leave. Of course, he heard the arguments that they were having and couldn't help it but to. He was in need of Rosalie now at the same time he didn't want her to see Esme sad or any of the conversation that they were having. Knowing well that she'll react bad and who knows turn to old Rosalie for a moment or two.

When he felt arms around him, he broke from his thoughts and hugged his mom. "I love you too. And I'm always here for you." Emmett said to his lovely and caring mother. He loved her so much that he was willing to do something that would make her happy in the whole family situation.

[resident2k4]

Carlisle stood up and walked over to the window, grimacing, hissing even under his breath some, unable to believe what was happening to his family, it was falling apart before his very eyes, as Alice and Jasper was only the beginning. He was starting to regret his decision in taking Crystal back, but found it hard to send her away.

He clenched his fist so tightly, they made popping noises, as he was crushing his bones some. He couldn't face Esme, he didn't know to say or even think, as he knew Will had to be stopped, and Alice needed to found, he worried what would happen to her as she was on her own and hurt. He still shouldered the blame, for turning Will, it was because of his decision to turn him that his family was in jeopardy of being destroyed for good.

[Esme Cullen]

Esme could tell Carlisle was getting upset, he walked Over to the window and she could hear his faint hissing the the creaking of his bones. "Oh Love I am so sorry for all of this," Esme said on the inside she was crying but it did not matter how much she felt like crying there was no way a tear would ever fall from her eyes.

She ran back to Carlisle's arms, "We need to depend on each other strength, I know whatever people we have we need as many people to depend on as possible, you know if wee need will have Jacob's suppport and his pack to help out. We nee to all try our best to hold the rest of the family together as we repair the damage Crystal return has cost. I don't want her knowing about any of this I will talk to her tomorrow. Emmett try to avoid her if you can, " Esme wished Bella and Renesmee never went on the try to New York, Sure Renesmee need thing for the wedding but Esme was missing the feeling of love she and Jacob brought into the house.

[resident2k4]

Carlisle shook his head, he wish he didn't have to see his wife that way. He felt hurt and remorse for her, wishing he could say or do something to help her get past this. Yet he knew in his mind, as long as Crystal was around, peace and order had almost become non existent as he feared for his family.

"I am so sorry love, for putting you and our family in this position. I created Will, and then taking Crystal back, is turning into a mistake. I wanted to turn her away so badly Esme, but I just couldn't, my humanity has betrayed me and have I have put my family in this predicament."

[Esme Cullen]

"Oh Carlisle Love do not put all the burden on yourself, I Could have objected at any time I know you would have listen to me, But if you did not turn Will I know Crystal would have and we would still be stuck with these problems. Emmett Please tell me you believe it too, tell him that you know Carlisle Is not all to blame. As a family we all are." Esme placed her hand on Carlisle face.

"Love I am your other half, This makes half the burden mine you don't have to carry it all and if anything happens to you I would Get someone to put me out of my misery. I could never carry on without you."
She whispered to Carlisle she did not want Emmett to her what she was saying then.