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Post by Alexandria Lightfeather on Aug 17, 2009 1:04:08 GMT -5
Lexi had been out on patrol all night. She was patrolling the night shift around Jake's house so that he could be home with his wife and child. Lexi had promised Nessie that she would make sure that Jake was home more. Lexi knew that with Crystal dead now things should start to settle down, but she was not taking any chances with her alpha and his family. Lexi was fully back in pack mode, but she had forgotten how exhausting it was to be on patrol all night. As the dawn broke she made her way had to the reservation and to the woods beside the beach. She phased back to her human form and put on her clothes before she walked barefooted out onto the sand. Lexi sat on the edge of the water with her toes just barely in the tide and watched the sun come up.
As she sat there watching the sun rise with her toes in the water, she thought back over the years that she was away and could not remember why she left the reservation in the first place. Lexi loved the reservation and love was never a problem for her like it was for some of the other wolves. Lexi did want to find the right one for her and imprint but she was not in a hurry for that. She knew that it would happen when the time was right. Lexi loved being a wolf to much to stop phasing and she knew that she was frozen in time until she stopped. Lexi thought back over her life and she realized that she was happy with the roads that she had taken, but she was happier to be home. Lexi would never leave the reservation or the pack again for any long periods of time.
She knew that she needed to go home and get some sleep but she was to wired from the long nights run to sleep. She would sit on the beach and just enjoy being home. Maybe she would even run into some of the other pack members. She was still trying to get to know the new members of the pack. She knew the few that were her age, but she did not know the younger members, other than in their wolf form when their minds were connected. She wondered if she would ever get used to the younger members reverance for the older members. She looked the same age as the younger members physically, but mentally they were from a different generation.
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Post by Leah Clearwater on Aug 17, 2009 1:21:13 GMT -5
Leah had finally had a night off; the first one in almost a month's time. But since the return of some of the older pack members and Crystal's death, Jacob had seemed to relax some. She had slept a good deal, but still woke up around dawn, unable to go back to sleep for some odd reason. Lying in her bed, she found it impossible to just close her eyes and drift back into listless sleep. It was almost like someone had injected a dose of adrenaline into her system so she couldn't go back to bed. Sitting up, she threw back the sheet she slept with out of habit, and sighed heavily. "My one day off...and I can't even sleep through it," she muttered to herself as she stepped off the bed and walked into her bathroom. Looking into the mirror, she saw she was a mess with her hair in a ponytail and the remnants of sleep in her eyes. Yeah...I look like crap, she thought grimly before turning around to turn on the shower.
After her shower, she dried her hair and found a pair of shorts and a tank top to wear. She figured if she couldn't sleep, she might as well make use of the day and head outside. Sliding on a pair of flip-flops, she walked outside of her house. The Reservation was the same as it always had been her entire life, quiet and peaceful mostly, with the exception of a few stupid teenaged boys who didn't know when to act mature. Leah dryly thought of her brother...the boy wolf that never grew up really...and laughed a little as she walked toward First Beach. It was days like this that she missed her knuckleheaded brother and his usual antics. Since he first took off for Canada, she wondered when he would ever come home or if he ever would for that matter. Seth had never really been one to wander off, but she knew that almost every wolf took time to leave the Pack for a while. It was kind of a right of passage in a way...at least that's what Leah was telling herself.
When she arrived at the beach, she saw someone else in the distance, but didn't bother to see who it was. Leah really didn't care who it was either because she was too absorbed in her own thoughts. As the sand rolled into her flip-flops, she found a smooth rock and picked it up. Skipping it out into the ocean, she watched it's path of hops across the water and sighed deeply. The wind picked up a little and blew the sea breeze in her face, causing her to relax a little. It was a beautiful morning in Washington, but Leah had her mind on other things at the moment.
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Post by Alexandria Lightfeather on Aug 17, 2009 1:41:06 GMT -5
Lexi continued to sit on the beach as the sun broke through the constant cloud cover for a few beautiful minutes. Though Lexi was happy to be home, she did miss the sun of South America. She never had to worry about whether or not the sun would be there when she was in the south. Being home meant that she would rarely see the sun again. Lexi smiled as she thought about the reason that most of the vampires around the area came here in the first place. The Olympic thingyyla was the rainest place in the US. Lexi thought about what the vampire's meant for the pack and why they were here in the first place. It was their job to protect the reservation from the cold ones, as the old ones called them.
Lexi was lost in her thoughts when she noticed that she was not alone on the beach any more. The movement of a rock skipping against the wave brought her back to reality. She looked over to see Leah in the distance. Lexi had seen Leah around but they had yet to actually talk to each other. Lexi did not make a move to approach Leah. She knew Leah to well for that. If Leah wanted to talk to Lexi, she would come the her. Lexi had never been sure that Leah liked her but she had to tolerate her when they were in wolf form and working as a pack. Lexi always tried to stay out of Leah's mind when they were in wolf form, that was a mind that she just did not want to try to understand. Lexi turned back to the waves and pulled her legs up so that she could rest her chin on her knees.
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Post by Leah Clearwater on Aug 17, 2009 1:49:42 GMT -5
The wind picked up from the opposite direction, blowing a familiar scent Leah's direction. She knew that it was Lexi, an old member of the Pack that had returned home after being gone for several years. Leah had seen her around several times, but had made no real attempt to speak with her. In all the years she had been in the Pack, Leah had kept to herself mostly, with the exception of her solid friendship with Jacob. He was the only one who understood the kind of pain she had gone through losing the one she loved to another. But when he imprinted on Bella and Edward's daughter, Leah knew that the similar feeling that had bonded them would not be the same. He had someone to unconditionally love now, leaving Leah on her own again. However, she did not lose his friendship, which she was surprisingly thankful for. No matter what she had thought of Jacob before, she knew that he would always understand her more than anyone else.
Looking downwind, she sighed and debated with herself whether or not to actually speak with Lexi. After all, she was another female wolf who could somewhat understand her plight of being loveless. "Damn it all to hell..." she said to herself out loud before walking down the beach a ways. Leah knew that she was well-known for her bitter temper and resentment of being a wolf, but she also knew that she was capable of being civil from time to time, despite all former beliefs that she was a bitter old hag by some other members of the Pack. When she was close enough, she sat down in the sand a few feet from Lexi. "Hey," she managed to say. She wasn't really big on whole conversations, so this was progress at least.
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Post by Alexandria Lightfeather on Aug 17, 2009 1:59:27 GMT -5
Lexi was shocked and almost fell over when Leah came and sat down close to her. That was the closest that Leah had been to her in years. When Leah spoke to Lexi that was even more shocking. Lexi was glad that they were not in wolf form. She knew that her thoughts would give every thing away. Lexi knew that Leah was not big on being social for this was a huge step for her, though she was still unsure of why Leah was even bothering to talk to her. Lexi looked over as Leah. "Hello." She said simply but politely to Leah. Lexi was not going to push Leah in anyway. She knew that Leah still had issue's with Sam and the lost that his imprinting caused. Any of the old wolves that had shared a pack mind with her for as long as they had could tell you that. They had all had to live through the constant bitterness that was Leah in the old days. Lexi had tried in the beginning to understand Leah, but since Lexi had never truly loved anyone else, it was impossible for her to understand that level of loss.
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Post by Leah Clearwater on Aug 18, 2009 22:05:18 GMT -5
Leah tried her hardest to not run away. Being around others was just plain difficult for her after spending so much of her immortal life alone. Everyone in the Pack, as well as everyone else in general, knew how Sam had betrayed her when he met Emily. However, only those in the Pack and those priveledged enough to know about imprinting knew the real reason Sam had left Leah for Emily. Every part of Leah died that day and had not really recovered. And then, on top of being heartbroken, she learned that she was a wolf. And for thirty years she existed as something she really never wanted to be in the first place. Leah, above anyone else in the Pack, had a reason to be bitter and resentful.
As she sat in the sand, she tried to think of something to say to Lexi. It had been years since they had even been near enough to each other to really have any sort of conversation, not that Leah was ever social before. Drawing her knees to her chest, she looked in Lexi's direction and sighed deeply. "Long time no see," she finally managed to say a few moments later. Yeah, that was lame Leah, she mentally said, but she knew that it was the easiest way to even begin a conversation with someone you had not been around in thirty years.
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Post by Alexandria Lightfeather on Aug 18, 2009 22:32:54 GMT -5
Lexi continued to look out at the water. She knew that Leah was not comfortable being around her, but she was glad that Leah was making the effort. Lexi was starting to wonder if she had made the right choice in coming home. She had not seen her cousin and that only members of the pack that she had seen had not been that welcoming to her. Lexi wondered if she would ever fit into the pack again. She knew when she left that it was the right decision to make but now she was not sure that returning was the right one to make.
When Leah finally spoke, Lexi knew that she was struggling to make conversation. "Yeah it has been a long time. I never meant to stay gone for so long." Lexi said turning slightly toward Leah. She knew that now that Tash had left again, she was the only other female that Lexi could talk to, that would understand. "Leah, why have we never been able to get alone. We understand each other better than any two individuals should, because of our minds, but yet we have never been able to be friends." Lexi said in a burst that she could not control, she was feeling to lonely and needed a friend. Lexi decided to just let everything out and try to make amends with Leah. "Did I make a mistake in coming home? It seems like no one wants me here. My own cousin does not even seem to be happy to see me." Lexi said as she pulled her knees back up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
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Post by Leah Clearwater on Aug 24, 2009 15:10:41 GMT -5
Leah sat in the sand and stared off into the distance, just as the sun was beginning to really rise over the ocean before them. It truly was one of the few beautiful sites in the world that she could really appreciate fully. It was something that rarely changed or looked so different that it would make her not love it anymore. Each sunrise was like the beginning of something new. As Leah stared out over the ripples of the water that reflected the light, she heard Lexi's voice to the side of her. She was asking a question Leah didn't really know the answer to...at least a legitimate one that would not sound utterly selfish and stupid.
Stretching out her legs in the sand, Leah folded her arms and sighed apathetically. "I honestly don't know why we were never friends Lexi," she finally replied. "I guess I'm just not the 'friend' type. The only two people I have ever trusted really are my brother and Jacob." Looking away, Leah only knew how true that was. Seth and Jacob were the only two people in her world that had never really abandoned her. Sam betrayed her when he imprinted on Emily, which had been the second worst thing to happen to her...right behind her family heritage making her become the very first female wolf. "Lexi, you didn't make a mistake in coming home," she said, sighing and looking toward her again. "Your timing just happened to suck because everyone has been stressing about a lot of chaos lately. Once things calm down, everyone will be back to normal. You'll see." Leah felt a little repulsed by the idea that she was comforting someone, but at the same time she knew that being rude wouldn't get her anywhere.
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Post by Alexandria Lightfeather on Sept 2, 2009 14:39:01 GMT -5
Lexi listened to Leah as she talked and she understood how Leah felt. Lexi had never really trusted anyone the way that she trusted Quil. He was her best friend and her cousin. Lexi knew that Leah was a loner and she was not trying to interfer in her life. Lexi knew that things were chaotic and that once things settled down it would be better, but Lexi was still not sure that her coming home was the right thing to do. Lexi wanted to be home and wanted to find love but she was not sure that she would ever imprint. Lexi had been thinking about stopping phasing. She could control it and stop it anytime that she wanted to but she was not ready to grow old just yet. Lexi knew that the tribe still needed her and the rest of the wolves to protect them. "Leah, have you ever thought about stopping phasing and growing older?" Lexi asked her, wondering if she was the only one that thought about it.
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Post by Leah Clearwater on Sept 6, 2009 19:27:15 GMT -5
Leah looked at Lexi with a look of shock and somewhat apall. The thought had never occured to her that she would stop phasing, not even for any time. Phasing had just become part of her life, as natural and easy as breathing in most cases. Not that she enjoyed the feeling of losing all of her clothes when she lost control of her anger, causing her to phase without warning. For thirty years she had phased and lived her life as a she-wolf with the pack, taking on the responsibilities of being the Beta to Jacob. Even if her whole heart wasn't in being a wolf, it was the only thing she really ever knew. The one thing that gave her any comfort after losing Sam to Emily was being able to show him how much it hurt by all her thoughts and emotions running through her mind that the entire pack could read. But now that Sam and Emily were both gone, Leah had never really thought about not being a wolf.
"No," she replied shortly. "Being a wolf is all I have ever really known. So much so that I don't really remember what it was like before...when I was just human." Leah's eyebrows scrunched together absentmindedly in some frustration. She knew the liklihood of imprinting for a female wolf and knew her odds were slim. Finding someone to grow old with was just not an option for her because she couldn't imprint. It wouldn't be the same to just date someone because of her heritage and wolf genes. "There isn't anyone I would grow old with anyways, so I'd be alone in my old age. That isn't worth anything." Leah knew she sounded harsh, but there was no other way to put it lightly.
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Post by Alexandria Lightfeather on Sept 6, 2009 22:07:06 GMT -5
Lexi sat and listened to Leah. Lexi knew what Leah meant about being a wolf. In truth Lexi loved the feel of phasing and running through the woods, but she also knew that she would give it up in a heartbeat for have a love that would last a lifetime. Lexi wanted to imprint and be happy like so many other's of the pack. Lexi thought about Jacob and Renesmee and knew that was what she wanted. That was one of the reason's for Lexi's return home was to hopefully find someone to complete her. Lexi was tired of being alone. She was not sure that she would ever stop phasing but she knew that it was a possibility. "I know what you mean, Leah. I do remember before becoming a wolf but my life was not exactly full of fun back then." Lexi said to Leah as she thought about things.
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Post by Leah Clearwater on Sept 14, 2009 10:32:44 GMT -5
Leah sighed when Lexi mentioned that her human life wasn't exactly full of fun. In truth, Leah did remember exactly what it was like to be a human. Every moment of every day was torture watching Sam be in love with Emily and not her. That hurt more than anything in the world to Leah, including losing her dad. But losing her father is what sent her and Seth over the edge into their first transformation. Leah had spent years blocking out the pain and emotional trauma of losing both Sam and then her father shortly thereafter, but in a matter of moments she was reliving all of it over again. "I don't think I'll ever stop phasing," she finally said, looking out to the ocean's waves crashing onto the shore. "And I don't think that there will ever be anyone who can love a girl like me." Saying it out loud made the truth Leah had always known in her heart even more true. There wasn't anyone in the world who could love a sarcastic, bitter, resented girl like herself and she knew that; better than anyone, she knew it.
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Post by Alexandria Lightfeather on Sept 17, 2009 14:37:12 GMT -5
Lexi listened to Leah and hated that Leah felt that way. Lexi honestly believed that there was someone out there from everyone. "Leah, don't give up on love like that. Look at it this way, look at how long Edward had to wait from Bella. He waited almost a century to find true love. Maybe your mate just hasn't been born yet." Lexi said to her and thought about it for herself to. Lexi had not imprinted on anyone either, and she was not any thing like Leah in personality. "I really don't think that it is our personalities that have kept us from imprinting. I think that we just have not found the right person yet." Lexi said as she turned to look at Leah. Lexi knew that pain that Leah lived with, after all Lexi knew Leah's mind almost as well as Leah herself. That was the curse of the pack mind, there were no secret's in the pack.
Lexi thought about her past for a brief moment and about losing her beloved, favorite cousin. Lexi knew that with Quil gone, she was all alone in the pack. She was not close to anyone the way that she was with Quil. "I am alone now just as you are, Leah. I don't have Quil to run to anymore. He was always my rock and my favorite cousin. He was more like my brother though. I miss him more than I let on, most of the time, but we have to move forward in life and not regret the past. After all we can not change the past, we can only change the future." Lexi said to her as she looked out over the water and that sky.
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